Monday, January 12, 2009

Maggie's Peeves - outside critters

It took me a while, but I finally thought of things that make me bonkers. Two of them. There are probably more, but these two things make me drop whatever I'm doing and go on the attack.

First pet peeve: bugs in the house. I've been known to take my entire kitchen apart at two in the morning because I saw a bug I didn't want in my house. I also disinfect everything, especially if said bug has left his calling card. I know, I know; if I didn't like bugs I shouldn't have moved to Bug Central. Life is strange that way.

Second thing that gives me fits is squirrels on the bird feeder. I used to think they were cute. A little fluffy squirrel having a little sunflower seed snack to tide him over between the kazillion acorns in our yard. But no, those monsters can empty a columnar feeder in an hour. It's like locusts descended. At first I'd go running out in the yard to scare them away. Then I realized they were probably laughing their squirrel heads off. Then I got a squirrel baffle. It goes on the pole that holds the feeder, about midway up. The squirrels can't get around it and I am getting the last laugh.

However, they are feisty. Once when we were doing some work on the porch we moved the lawn furniture closer to the feeder. A squirrel figured out that he could launch himself in the air from the chair back (about a four foot flight) and catch the top crook of the pole and then shimmy on down to the groceries. There I was running and hollering out the back door. I fixed his little red wagon by moving the chairs.

It isn't like they don't get any food. The doves that come to the feeder need glasses and drop at least 50% of the seeds on the ground, so I don't know why the squirrels are so fired up to get to the top of the pole.

Sometimes I put a tiny feeder on my hummingbird feeder pole in mid winter. This one is tucked around the side of the house from the other one and more importantly, located just outside my office window. Because of the tiny lantern-like feeder shape and the fact that the perches are too small for a squirrel, the chubbo squirrels on my block inch up the pole, turn upside down and dangle by their back feet, swinging their bodies over so that one hand catches the tiny perch and the other one grabs the seeds. I enjoy their athletic ability for a bit, then I get mad and grease the pole.

I'm not sure who's ahead right now in the war of the feeders, but I don't think I'm losing right now.


1 comment:

Donna Caubarreaux said...

That is so funny!

I try to feed the squirrels and have a corn cob pushed into a nail with it's own perch.

My bird feeder hangs from a high branch, absolutely no way they can get there.

I've wanted to design a squirrel run, where they have go through some hoops before they get a treat. I guess it's on my to do list.