ATBC, JL

Looks like it's you and me, Maggie ... come on youse guys, chime in!

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"You're crazy." Jolene waved an airy hand which Paula successfully ducked. The aroma of Muguet de Bois wafted over the room. Ezra PoundCat peeked around the corner, saw Jolene, and made a beeline for the bed. Paula knew with fatalistic certainty that he would pound her blanket into submission, probably a substitute for what he'd like to do to Jolene, Paula's cat-hating mother.

"I'm not crazy, Mother." Paula hitched up her sweatpants and wandered toward the kitchen. She had a carton of Chubby Hubby in the freezer that was calling to her. "Trust me. Joel was not the perfect mate."

Jolene followed, running her index finger over Paula's faux marble counters. "I think your standards are too high."

Paula jerked open the freezer door, upending a pile of Weight Watcher meals that almost tumbled out. She rammed them back inside their frozen cocoon and grabbed the pint of CH. "My standards are too high? I beg your pardon. You're the one who told me that I shouldn't date anyone who wore blue jeans on a first date." She closed the freezer with admirable restraint and dug a spoon out of the drawer. "You're the one who told me that any man who didn't have a four-year college degree wasn't worth my time."

"You're not going to eat that right out of the carton, are you?"

Paula dug the spoon into the frozen goo, bending it slightly in the process. "Now that Joel is gone, it's only me here. So yes, I am going to eat it right out of the carton."

"What did you do to make Joel leave? Really, Paula. Your inability to maintain a long-term relationship is starting to look odd. You're almost 40. People will talk."

Paula winced as an ice cream headache lanced into her brain. It was either that or she was having a stroke. The stroke was a real possiblity. "What did I do? If you must know, I caught Joel in a compromising position."

Jolene sighed dramatically. "Really? Are you sure you're not overreacting? What did he do, flirt with someone? He was devoted to you, Paula. Absolutely devoted."

Paula stared down at the ice cream carton in her hand. "He's gay, Mother."

Jolene opened her mouth then closed it with a snap. She cleared her throat. "Oh. That kind of compromising position. Rather like the time I found your father and--"

"What?"